Conflicts according Winardi (1994) is divided into four, including:
a. Conflict within the individual's own
Every conflict can be devastating for the person or people who are related, among conflicts are more worried about potentially be called conflicts involving individual itself. Conflicts can arise due to excessive load role (role overlads) and the inability of the relevant role (role person- incompatibilities) in this case the husband and wife.
b. Interpersonal conflicts
Interpersonal conflicts between one or more individuals. For example the marital relationship.
c. Conflicts between groups
Another conflict situations arise in the organization, as a network of groups that are intertwined.
d. Conflicts between organizations
This conflict between the organizations.
This study focused on interpersonal conflicts or conflicts from individual to individual (interpersonal conflict) is the conflict in the marriage happens to husband and wife.
According to Thomas and Kilmann (in Wirawan, 2010) conflict is an objective condition mismatch between the values or goals, such as the behavior that intentionally disrupt efforts to achieve goals, and emotionally-containing atmosphere of hostility. They developed a taxonomy of conflict management styles based on two dimensions: the first collaboration is an attempt to satisfy others when dealing with conflict. Both assertiveness is an attempt of people to satisfy themselves when dealing with conflict. Based on these two dimensions Thomas and Kilmann offers five types of conflict management styles. The five types of conflict management styles are as follows:
1. Competition. Conflict management styles with high assertiveness level and low level of cooperation. This style is a style oriented power, where someone would use the power it has to win the conflict with persecuted his opponents.
2. Collaborating. Conflict management styles with a high degree of assertiveness and cooperation. The goal is to find an alternative, a common ground, and fully meet the expectations of both parties involved in the conflict.
3. compromising. Central conflict management style, in which the level of assertiveness and cooperation being. By using the strategy of giving and taking (give and take), both parties to the conflict seek alternative midpoint satisfying as they desire.
4. Avoiding. Conflict management styles with the same level of assertiveness and low employment. In the style of management of this conflict, both sides are trying to avoid conflict. According to Thomas and Kilmann dodge shapes could include: (a) keep away from the subject matter; (B) the subject matter of delay until the right time; or (c) withdrawing from the conflict which threaten and harm.
5. Accomodating. Conflict management styles with a low level of assertiveness and a high level of cooperation. A neglect its own interests and seek to satisfy the interests of the opponent.